My name is Jamie and I'm a mess.
Ever since I can remember I have been what I like to call organizationally challenged. You could also call it messy or the opposite of tidy or having a natural proclivity towards having things in disarray.
I don't know if it was revolting from my mom's EXTREME cleaning ways (honestly I do think she had some sort of OCD about cleaning because of her own childhood but that's a story for another day) but when left to my own devices I'm a mess. The only time in my life I can remember consistently keeping things tidy was because I lived at home and my mom MADE me (but lols to how clever I got about hiding my mess to give the appearance of clean). My sister and I had to clean for HOURS (like literally most of the day) every Saturday, our rooms and bathroom had to be picked up every day and all sorts of other various cleaning things happened. True story, I was once grounded because I left a piece of paper on the floor of my room -- and it wasn't even a full piece of paper it was that crap on the end of your paper when you pull it out of a notebook.
So maybe when I'm left to my own devices I'm just not inclined to be tidy because I'm rebelling against years of strict cleaning or maybe I'm just down right messy to my core.
Read: MESSY, not dirty. Big difference.
Ever since I was younger and especially now as an adult I have always come up with so many plans of attack to Be Neater and Keep It Clean. I'm armed with my sharpies to write cleaning schedules. I read all sorts of listicles from the internet and magazines to help me Become More Organized and Keep the Clutter Away. I'm all jazzed up to create Systems That Work. I'm Tossing and Recycling and Minimizing My Stuff. I'm Marie Kondo-ing the shit outta my life.
And everything, no matter how much gusto is propelling me forward, I fail. The clutter piles up. The systems last two days. The disorganization comes back full force. The energy to keep it up flees. And the mess is back and I feel like a failure -- like I'm never going to have this neat space I dream of.
And the thing is I REALLY DO WANT THAT in my heart of hearts. I don't want the perfect perfectness I see online but I want a space that I'm not like "OH SHIT OMG I NEED TWO DAYS TO CLEAN UP SO NO YOU CAN'T JUST DROP OVER TODAY."
I really do feel less stressed out and even happier when my place is neat and organized. I just don't know how to make it stick in a way that doesn't involve me hiring someone to come clean my place or like cleanse my brain or hypnotize me to make me less messy or like 50 bajillion hours a day of cleaning.
I've tried Marie Kondo.
I've tried books that help with organizing all aspects of your life.
I've tried every Pinterest list, every blog list, every trendy method.
I've tried schedules.
I've tried it all and I can't make it stick.
It just always gets out of control.
It's like my brain just doesn't speak organization or something. Or maybe I just haven't found the RIGHT thing in my search. Maybe there is something out there for the messy at heart? Or maybe I just choose not to prioritize it even though I WANT it to be a certain way?
All I know is that I am trying to #adult and keep a semi tidy home and I feel like I'm failing so hard.
I would LOOOOOVE your best tips or resources or books that maybe would help me. Please tell me how you keep your space neat and organized! Or come commiserate with me if you struggle! I NEED SOMETHING TO STICK.