Title/Author: Kiss
The Girls by James Patterson
Publisher/Year Published: Little, Brown and Company, 1995
How I got this book: Bought
it at the library!
Why I read this book: I’d
never read anything by James Patterson before and thought I’d try.
Rating: 2 stars
So I happened to be at a library a few weeks ago—I say “a”
library rather than “the” library because I wasn’t in my local library—and I
saw a cart of paperbacks with a sign that said “25 cents each.” Of course I
couldn’t help but look (who could resist getting a book for a freaking
quarter??). Most of the books looked to be trashy romance novels and
super-corny chick lit, neither of which I’m into, but Kiss The Girls by James Patterson caught my eye (my dad likes the
movie) so I bought it. I didn’t realize at the time that I was jumping into the
second book of a long series about a detective/psychologist, but it ended up
not being a huge deal.
Anyway, the premise is this: Naomi Cross, the niece of Alex
Cross (the aforementioned detective/psychologist), has gone missing. It comes
to light that she is probably the victim of Casanova, a serial
kidnapper/rapist/murderer who has been working the Research Triangle in North
Carolina. Simultaneously, another serial kidnapper/rapist/murderer who styles
himself “The Gentleman Caller” is working his way through the West Coast—and
seems to be in cahoots with Casanova.
So before I rip this book to shreds, let me give credit
where credit is due: the basic story was good, and I can see why my dad would
like the movie. I will also allow that I was kept guessing up until the very
end about who Casanova was, and I still turned out to be ultimately wrong, so
good on you, Mr. Patterson, for not giving up the goods too easily.
But oh my GOD, Alex Cross was a whiny bitch.
Okay, whiny bitch might be the wrong words. Maybe angsty
bitch would be better. But his voice (this was written in first person from
Alex’s point of view) was so freaking annoying. Some of it comes down to James Patterson’s writing style, no doubt,
which was also horrible. He sure does love using italics, and not always in the
most appropriate situations. The result was that Alex Cross came across as kind
of self-righteous and overly earnest. And the good basic storyline was obscured
by terrible prose—the kind of terrible prose that really makes me wonder how in
the world James Patterson manages to sell millions upon millions of books every
year.
Something else that really bothered me was how flat the
characters were. No one underwent any significant—or even insignificant—changes
throughout the entire book. All Alex could think about the majority of the time
was Naomi or his kids, and definitely had something of a savior complex going
on. Sampson, Alex’s colleague and friend, is perpetually snarky despite the
harrowing situations they find themselves in. Kate McTiernan was probably the
least realistic character of the bunch, the impossibly beautiful, incredibly
intelligent and talented doctor who overcame her tragic past and blah blah
blah.
Basically, this was a really fluffy book that I only
continued to read because I was grudgingly interested in finding out who
Casanova was. So James Patterson can create suspense, but definitely not much
else.
Rating: 2 stars
.JPG)
